7 Things My Mama Told Me
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If you’re looking for eloquent words of inspiration, this may not be the post for you. My momma was a plain spoken woman – she called things as she saw them. As simple as these phrases might seem, they help keep me on track, and I’ve shared them with my kids, too. I also remember her for her sense of humor. She was a bit of a joker – like me. 🙂 (Thus the photo above.) Here are 7 things my mama told me, which I also tell to my kids.
1. All clumsy flesh must come off.
Yep, you read that right. Mom wasn’t one to be lavish in her pity or praise. If you were clumsy or careless enough to cut or otherwise injure yourself, it was their responsibility. Losing a little flesh was a reminder to pay attention to what you were doing. Patch it up, get back to work, and skip the pity party.
2. If someone leaves hungry, it’s their own darn fault.
Mom always had something to eat when folks dropped in for a visit – expected or unexpected. The food was simple, but good, and always abundant. We may have lived below the poverty line, but with the farm and garden, we never went hungry, and neither did our guests. To me, it’s the worst sort of bad manners to invite folks over for supper and not have enough food. You come by my place, and I’ll treat you right, and share the bounty of our gardens and other real food.
3. Sh*t or get off the pot.
We had six kids and one bathroom, so this one was literal as well as figurative. When stuff needed to be done, you did it. You didn’t sit there and talk about it for hours, you didn’t make excuses, you just made it happen.
4. Nobody’s going to buy the cow if they can get the milk for free.
This one was a warning to her daughters about the having sex before marriage. If you value yourself too cheaply, others will, too. I think this is worth remembering with regards anything you do. If you don’t value and respect your own efforts, no one else will, either.
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5. You made your bed, you lie in it.
Each individual is responsible for their own actions. If we screwed up, it was our responsibility to make it right.
6. If someone doesn’t like the way my house looks, they can clean it for me. If they don’t like the clothes I’m wearing, they can buy me some new ones.
Mom was never big on keeping up appearances. It wasn’t that she didn’t like beautiful things – she was quite a talented artist – she just didn’t have a lot of time or money to spare to afford them, and it wasn’t a priority. I have definitely inherited her attitude. My clothes are more functional the fashionable, and my house is only cleaned when needed, not on a schedule.
7. It’s hell to get old.
Mama lived this. For the last ten years of her life, she battled some strange autoimmune skin problem that created a red, itchy rash on her face. My sister took her to doctors all over our state and the neighboring one – I even sent her medical records to China since we had a Chinese exchange student at the time and the student’s mom offered to help. Mom also battled myotonic muscular dystrophy, which weakened her limbs and made it hard to for her to walk, let alone do the things she loved like gardening and baking. When she finally passed, she went with a smile on her face, and I knew she wasn’t hurting any more.
Mama’s health problems are a big reason that I started researching natural health, and that I share what I find in my blog. I wish I had known then what I know now – maybe she wouldn’t have had to go through hell on earth?
I can’t change the past, but maybe I can help my friends and loved ones in the future, and maybe I can help others. If I can at least do something, anything… I wouldn’t feel so blasted helpless.
It’s been over two years since mom passed away, but I still find myself dialing her number on the phone sometimes. This time of year I think of her often, as we always worked side by side in the garden, and used to swap stories (and plants) when we couldn’t garden together. I still dream about her in the garden at times.
Do you have any phrases that your parents or grandparents have passed along? I’d love to hear them.
Oh my Laurie….I LOVED your wonderful reminiscences of your mom!!! Made me smile….and a tear. I grew up hearing those same sayings from my mom…and naturally, my kids have too…lol.
My grandma had one that mom always was saying…”enough is enough and too much is shi**y”. I use that one when teasing/annoying behavior is getting old or making me angry.
Another one is: “The more you stir a turd, the more it stinks”. That was mom’s way of telling me to stop stirring up trouble and to let things go…lol
Gosh, I miss her. She could always make me laugh and feel things would be okay.
Thanks for sharing????
The years go by so quickly. We said goodbye to a friend’s mother last weekend. Not so many of the older generation left anymore. I feel it sometimes like a hole in my heart.
What a great read. My mom said many of these very factual things herself. They are so true. so love your articles.
Thanks, Melissa.
My mother was always saying, “A lil’ dab will do ya!” In our throw away world, we should take heed to use less to make whatever we have last longer.
Wasn’t that saying from a hair product – maybe Dippity Do – or something similar? I swear I remember seeing it on my grandmother’s dresser many years ago as a child. How things have changed over the years. Now we have a throwaway society. I hope it swings back the other direction soon.
You’re right, it was!
I heard many of the same expressions from my parents and grandmother while growing up. My parents passed when I was in my teens, but the one saying I remember most was “don’t sweat the small stuff.” Those little, irritating moments in life when everything seems to go wrong (stubbed toe, dropped tool, spilled whatever…) just don’t matter in the big picture. My favorite? “Have a little faith – it’ll all come out in the wash!” And it does. It doesn’t hurt when my 37 yr old daughter calls and says that every time she opens her mouth, I come out! I tell her it’s not me, it’s Grandma.
That’s family. 🙂
Great post!
“Lazy people work the hardest.” Meaning that we often try to think of shortcuts, etc but in reality if we just do it the right (hard) way to begin with, then we save time and effort.
“If you wanted to get there on time, you should have left 5 minutes earlier.” Meaning that if you had left earlier, you wouldn’t be driving like a maniac now.
I need to share that first one with my eldest. He’s prone to cut corners.
Your mother was a wise woman!
I think so, too.
My grandmother grew up dirt poor. She went through the dust bowl and the Great Depression. She could make a chicken coop out of anything. My grandmother taught me how to build and repair fences, milk goats, to identify snakes, weeds, trees and how to walk really fast. We used to walk for miles to go and “visit” people. She was never impressed by “town folk” or fancy clothes. A famous saying was, “They put their step-ins (underwear) on one leg at a time just like you do.”
My mother grew up breaking horses and driving trucks. She taught me how to drive a stick shift, pull a trailer and to have a good work ethic. “If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right the first time” was a motto she lived by. My hind end would pay the price for sloppy, half-done work. Both are gone for many years now and I miss them dearly. One fine day….one fine day…I’ll see them both again.
Thanks for sharing your story, Vicki. They sound like fine women.
“If you don’t have time to do it right, you sure don’t have time to do it over!”
“Will it matter in five years?” (Her way of providing perspective to the latest teenage crisis)
Dear Laurie,
Hi! I like your mom because she is the one with true wisdom.
Best regards,
Amy
I miss her, but she’s by my side every time I work in the garden and kitchen. Good memories. 🙂
It’d be alot tougher if you didn’t have it…. my Gramma would say that when someone complained about tough meat……but it can be applied to many things in life.
If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right.
Amen.
I still call my moms’ number too, it’s been over 6 years……
Almost 3 years now – boy, I sure do miss her.
Hell is not even half full yet, go ahead brother. & If I wanted a fool to do it I would have done it myself.
Joe – your momma had some spunk, too!
I lost my mom about 12 years ago-I still miss her terribly. One thing I remember her saying when she would see someone doing something stupid was, “No sense, no feeling” which I translated to to brain, no pain. I also remember her describing a February day as colder than a witch’s t*t. I’m still trying to work that one out! 😉
Thanks for sharing about your mom, and I love the pictures!
lol – my mom used to use the “witch” comment, too, but I was sticking to some of the more PG quotes. 😉
The witch’s book was in a brass bra. That’s why it was cold.
From my mother’s mother – “when you use what you got, you won’t need what you have not”. Any time I have a craft project, I ALWAYS say this to myself before running to the store. And it applies to so many situations…
I also learned from stories that my mom told me – there’s one about the poor farmer whose only horse runs away. The neighbors said, “what bad luck”. The farmer said, “could be a good thing, could be a bad thing”. The the horse comes back with 4 wild mares. The neighbors said, “what good luck”. The farmer said, “could be a good thing, could be a bad thing”. Then the farmer’s son broke his leg when he fell off of one of the mares trying to break her. The neighbors said, “what bad luck”. The farmer said, “could be a good thing, could be a bad thing”. And when the army came to town to take all of the young men off to war, they didn’t take the farmer’s son because of his broken leg.
Then there’s the one about the young boy, the old man, and the donkey. The old man was walking along with a donkey being ridden by the young boy. They overhear two people say, “why doesn’t the old man ride and the young boy walk?” So they switch. Then they overhear, “why don’t they both ride?” So they do. Then they overhear, “poor donkey… he’s carring such a heavy load!” So they get down and decide to carry the donkey. Then they come to an unstable bridge, lose their grip on the donkey, and he falls into the river. Moral of the story – when you try to please everyone, YOU LOSE YOUR ASS! So true on so many levels!!!!
Heather – love the poor farmer’s story. Hadn’t heard that one before.
I can’t add anything because I was raised with the same words LOL
Thanks for sharing your stories. I can use the smiles today. 🙂
What a wonderful tribute to such a wonderful person. Love some of these things, especially the first one. My grandmother was a cook and fed 6 kids in the 50s and 60s. No time for messing up, and when you did, you just cleaned it up and kept moving on.
One of the things she always said was “Buck up when you F*** up.” Brash, yes, but she was right. And being a no nonsense Catholic woman who raised 6 kids, drank tequila, played rummy and cribbage with the best, ran a restaurant, a motel in Arizona, and did the books when my grandpa ran guns? She earned her right to be brash.
My mom ended up picking up the phrase, but as she got older and more conservative, she ended up just saying “Buck up when you mess up.” Not quite the same ring, but definitely the same sentiment.
One of the funniest sayings my mother had for my siblings and I was “If you fall and break your leg, don’t come running to me!” Mom was always patching up one of us or the neighborhood kids. She was full of knowledge and common sense, and with 8 kids she had to keep a sense of humor.
That was perfect. My mother is in a facility with Alzheimers and I miss the woman she was so very much. She was from the South so I was raised on “sayings” so I had heard all of these growing up. There is of course …”A bird in the hand is worth two in bush” … “don’t put off till tomorrow what you can do today” Thanks to you and all the others for sharing!